Finding Happiness

lovequotesrus: EVERYTHING LOVE

Sun, 19 May 2013 00:01:20 -0400

EVERYTHING LOVE

bemusedlybespectacled: if you ever think mythology is boring or serious business or whatever...

Sat, 18 May 2013 23:49:13 -0400

if you ever think mythology is boring or serious business or whatever shit

just remember that cerberus, the hell-hound and guard dog of the underworld, comes from the root indo-european word ḱerberos, which evolved into the greek word kerberos, which got changed to cerberus when it went from greek to latin

ḱerberos means “spotted”

that’s right

hades, lord of the dead, literally fucking named his pet dog spot

Um, I see your story and raise you OPERA.

Well this is different.

Sat, 18 May 2013 23:47:06 -0400

PORN.

Sat, 18 May 2013 23:45:29 -0400

PORN.

Wrote this a year ago... Graduation seemed a good time to bring it back.

Sat, 11 May 2013 23:38:33 -0400

It’s been an intersting few months. Every day there seems to be some new reason why I lose my motivation for continuing in music or some other discouragement. I’m frustrated with my vocal technique, practicing, lessons, choir, competitions, you name it: I feel like I just can’t get it right. Somedays I am beyond serious about dropping everything here and starting over in say, statistics (which I’ve always loved) or psychology. But for whatever reason (I used to believe it was just fear) I can never quite bring myself to go into the office for my withdraw form. One time, I found myself at the conservatory office door before walking on, to another day of frustration and dead ends.

But brewing in my mind over the past week or so has been the real reason I’ll never leave music: because there is NOTHING on this earth so powerful or life-changing, and nothing that can seal the love that holds us together better than music.

Music, at its core, is about community. Whether it’s gathering with your village to sing songs that were passed down through the generations, meeting a stranger while dancing a dance everyone knows, or spying on other aristocrats in an opera house, music has always brought people together. One thing that is certain, is that music is never ever done alone. When you are working on a new choral piece, or a dance you’ve never done, or even an aria alone in a practice room, you are sharing an experience with everyone who has ever sung that song or danced that dance. In an ensemble, the people you are with become your family, and the girl you would never have talked to in the hall becomes your best friend (if only for the hour). Music brings people together, in a world where, it seems, everything else only drives people apart. And isn’t that beautiful?

In my life, I have met my best friends and formed my strongest relationships through shared, musical experiences. Burning anger and indignation at any perceived injustice are tossed aside because, without community, the music suffers. Like any family, a music ensemble can be filled with drama, but at the end of the day the people I make music with ARE my family and I would do anything for them.

In re-reading this post, it occurs to me how hokie this must sound to the average person. But anyone who has ever made music surely must recognize the sentiment. Music overcomes any barrier; it transcends languages, centuries, race, gender, and hatred. In a world where so much is falling apart at the seams, music brings us the hope that we can COME TOGETHER to put the world BACK TOGETHER.

And that’s why I’ll never leave… because I wil never be able to find anything else that so unifies and enhances the human experience. Our time here is brief, but music lasts forever. Nothing could be more beautiful, and nothing could be more worth the pain-staking time, effort, and frustration that go into sharing profound musical experiences.

I woke up this morning

Fri, 10 May 2013 11:22:34 -0400

And nothing was better. I spent such a long time thinking I was doing things right. And instead, I couldn’t have been more wrong.

The really awful part

Fri, 10 May 2013 01:34:31 -0400

is that the self-loathing that comes from ADHD is only magnified 10000x by depression.

I’m a mess.
I hurt people.

I deserve to be alone.

Hyperbole and a Half: Depression Part Two

Fri, 10 May 2013 01:04:12 -0400

Hyperbole and a Half: Depression Part Two:

Everyone should read this.

Photo

Thu, 09 May 2013 21:47:07 -0400

Time to be Honest with Myself.

Thu, 09 May 2013 16:19:00 -0400

Because of the hyper-stigmatized world we live in, this post might make some people uncomfortable. So it begins after the jump.I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was ten years old and, because the universe is a cruel, cruel place, I never “grew out of it.”

I have spent 12 years treating it and forgetting about it. I pop a pill and never actually pay attention to see if it works because the truth is, I’m still in denial about it actually being a problem. ADHD is for the 6-year-old class bully, not 20-something operatic sopranos.

But I’m posting this today because it is a lot harder to deny and run from something everybody knows about.

My ADHD (combined with depression, but I’ve always been more open about that) disguises who I really am. It makes me fidgety, impulsive, and say mean things that come off as hurtful. The worst part about any of this, is that I literally am unaware that it is happening until somebody tells me. I will say well-intentioned and helpful things in the most tactless way possible because I have no filter. And, I say, because I am “medicated,” I cannot possibly have a problem. Instead, I dismiss those who try to help. I may think, in the moment, that I am angry with you, but the truth is I am angry with myself.

So, dear friends who come to read this, I am sorry. I am sorry for every dismissal, every missed appointment, every heartless word, and every moment my presence has made you uncomfortable.

I will be better.

And this starts today. Here. On tumblr, facebook, twitter, and email. It starts with this apology that I never meant to hurt you, or scare you, or make you uncomfortable. As long as you are one of God’s creatures (and we all are), I love you and want nothing but the best for you. Each and every one of you.

I am finally accepting it and becoming more proactive… and I will do my best to monitor myself in the ways I have always avoided.

Because I am a 20-something soprano with ADHD.

We exist. We are good people.

And everyone deserves to see that.

Here's a Picture of Me and My Dad.

Mon, 06 May 2013 00:41:21 -0400

I know a disproportionate number of young ladies who no longer have their fathers around. I should thank my lucky stars every day that I can still call mine on the phone, any hour, day or night. Since he’s going to live forever, I’m not going to wait that long to share a photo of me with the greatest man I’ve ever known. Love you, daddy <3

BUT ACTUALLY

Wed, 01 May 2013 16:14:01 -0400

It’s like I’m standing in the outfield and I’m just shocked when a ball comes out to me.

My love life is like softball all over again…

And then there’s that moment where you realize you feel a way you didn’t know you felt...

Wed, 01 May 2013 16:09:58 -0400

And then there’s that moment where you realize you feel a way you didn’t know you felt and know you probably shouldn’t but you do so maybe just…. go with it…

Sometimes, you just have to stop planning and go with what you know is right. Maybe your gut should...

Wed, 01 May 2013 16:03:39 -0400

Sometimes, you just have to stop planning and go with what you know is right. Maybe your gut should make your decisions for once. Maybe you should stop ignoring that feeling that if you do this, at this time, it is the right way to go about things, even if you don’t know what’s going to happen.

Or maybe this is the first stage of a schizophrenic break.

Photo

Wed, 01 May 2013 16:00:55 -0400

i got 99 problems and aaron tveit in a suit is 102 of them

Mon, 25 Feb 2013 15:52:17 -0500

i got 99 problems and aaron tveit in a suit is 102 of them

OPERA PLOTS

Mon, 25 Feb 2013 15:51:09 -0500

fachyeahoperasingers:

Content:

Me:

fuckdouglas: musicalabby-2112: negative-g: oneofthefew: skitt...

Mon, 25 Feb 2013 00:47:13 -0500

fuckdouglas:

musicalabby-2112:

negative-g:

oneofthefew:

skittle-happy-matt:

Somebody took a picture of their dog everyday for a year kinda like that video on YouTube and it’s so cute :3

PUPPY TURNS INTO A DOGGY!

Cutest gif in the world

this is my favorite gif ever

i think its wearing sunglasses at one point

Photo

Mon, 25 Feb 2013 00:44:33 -0500

Adele performs Skyfall at the 85th Annual Academy...

Mon, 25 Feb 2013 00:41:59 -0500

Adele performs Skyfall at the 85th Annual Academy Awards.

PERFECTION.